Luiza Jesus do Prado
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Diary of Memories I do Not Have

Intro
/ 01 — 2020

Archive
01 films

Diary of Memories I do Not Have

Photography is taken in a dramatic representation, used as a central approach and exploration of the self-psyche, emotional linkages, mental disorders, traumas and depression, in the case of memories that occurred in a s

© 2020

Statement

Photography is taken in a dramatic representation, used as a central approach and exploration of the self-psyche, emotional linkages, mental disorders, traumas and depression, in the case of memories that occurred in a substantial past, for the construction of the present. This same past is over, allowing changing lived situations, going to a new path to that experience through the photographic reprocessing.

A derived and large in possibilities scene, which the protagonist becomes an auxiliary-ego, transforming its past in a perspective from another, distancing from the screenplay, desensitizing the situation through self-pictures frames that tells each step of the story, although allowing the manipulation in physical, digital and contextual of the denouement. The daily heart, ready to receive changes under remembrances not owned any longer. If there are ancestral beliefs, of situations and characteristics passed on, I believe that this lace was cut when the photography allowed me to materialize different ends of all the stories.

01 — Text

“A Diary With Memories That I do Not Have” initiated in 2010. I started in photography with self-portraits and these symbolizes for me a catharsis sphere. In photography, began a unconsciously need to expose situations, trauma disorders, depression and phobias that I possessed and at the time did not know how to express them. It was also when I had contact and identification with the known “suicide photographers”, specifically Francesca Woodman and Diane Arbus. Much has been revealed through this process and then the self-portraits were used as the basis of psychological treatments, specifically with psychodrama techniques ( Jacob Levy Moreno – 1925) and EMDR (Francine Shapiro – 1987).

This project involves desensitizing traumatic memories related to sexual violations using photography, noise and performance. In this project, EMDR and psychodrama techniques were used specifically and my body and my story were used as an experiment

Diary of Memories I do Not Have 01/06
A person lying face down on a large rock formation outdoors, with a bare tree and other trees in the background under a cloudy sky, black and white photograph.
A collage of five black and white photos depicting a woman with different emotional expressions and poses.
A black and white distorted image of a person covering their face with their hands, creating an abstract, surreal effect.
Person lying on the floor with long hair covering their face, blurry motion around them in black and white.
A digital artwork showing a central humanoid figure with multiple headless, floating humanoid figures arranged horizontally on either side, creating a symmetrical, dark, and surreal scene.
Black and white image of a tree with expansive branches in a park-like setting.

02 — Text

Chimera to affirm the impossibility of transforming past experiences, because if I crave the sky, not having wings, I am only a reverie for those who look at me. But, even unable to fly with my fixed feet in which I am predestined arrested, this floor that roots me is no longer absolute looking to what I crave so hard. My eyes fixes itself to the worldly desire, changing all the perspective, creating hardness, so I become the most beautiful of all birds. This is the moment in which I discover that, the accusation is the comfort of the prisoner, because he points to what he doesn’t know and believes to fly is an illness.

The photo was used as the basis for my difficulty to verbally explore my experiences. There was an identification of my photography with the roles of Development Theory, Inversion Protagonism and the Mirror Technique, which are techniques developed in Psychodrama and correspond to the phases of the self-portrait as a catalyst experience. In the self-portrait, my auxiliary egos were in charge of the stage and through this mirror, I applied the EMDR techniques (Desensitization and Reprocessing through Eye Movement). Since a trauma sequence was suffered, I possessed PTSD, therefore so much of what had happened was considered by myself as fictional. However, EMDR working both hemispheres of the brain, reactivated processing experiments that had been forgotten or aggravated.

Diary of Memories I do Not Have 07/12
Person kneeling in a lake or river with mountains and cloudy sky in the background
Two women in vintage-style clothing engaging in a playful or dramatic scene in a cluttered room, with a cello leaning against the wall, and various papers, a birdcage, and a basket around them.
A woman in a light-colored lace dress standing under a wooden bridge, looking down at the ground.
A blurred sculpture of a nude human figure holding a dark ball, with multiple hands arranged on the body, against a plain background.
A person standing against a wall with a black drape, covering part of their body and creating dramatic shadows.
A person with tattoos holding a mirror in front of their face, with a hand reaching into the mirror from behind. The mirror has an ornate gold frame, and the scene is in a dimly lit room with a wooden
Diary of Memories I do Not Have 13/18
Person lying on the floor with their arm stretched out, in a dimly lit room.
A nude woman with tattoos on her side and arm, with curly brown hair, poses against a plain light gray background, with her eyes closed and one hand touching her face and the other behind her head.
A woman with tattoos sitting on a bed, with her head turned down and her hand resting on her chin, in a kneeling pose against a plain wall.
A person with tattoos sitting on the floor, hunched over with their head in their hands, next to an old, ornate fireplace in a dimly lit room.
A woman with disheveled hair and makeup smeared on her face, appearing distressed, standing topless in a shower or tiled room with bloodstains on her skin and the wall.
A black and white photo of a woman lying on a bed, with her body angled sideways and her right arm extended over her head. She has a tattoo of a tiger on her hip and is covering her chest with her left hand.
Diary of Memories I do Not Have 19/24
A person with a tattoo on their back sitting on the floor in a dark room facing the corner.
A person resting on a windowsill during daytime, with a decorative metal window grille and tiled floor visible.
Portrait of a woman with a septum piercing and bare shoulders, wearing a black blindfold against a dark background.
A person lying on the floor, partially hidden behind a mirror with a wooden frame, reaching out towards the mirror with blood on their hand.
Black and white photo of a woman with tattoos, showing her back and side, with her head bowed and arm over her shoulder.
A person lying on a blanket in a narrow hallway, appearing to be undressed and reclining, with a tattoo visible on their back.
Diary of Memories I do Not Have 25/30
A person with curly hair leaning over and reaching toward the camera, with clothing and bags visible in the foreground.
A person with tattoos sitting on the floor in a dark room, leaning against a damaged fireplace, with their head bowed and arms crossed over their knees.
A woman with dark hair and tattoos wearing a black top and choker, sitting on a bed against a plain wall, with a contemplative expression.
A person with tattoos kneeling on the floor, resting their head and arms on a stool, with a disheveled bed and blanket in the background.
A black and white photo of a person with dark hair leaning forward, exposing their back and shoulders, against a plain white background.
A sequence of five black-and-white photos of a woman displaying various emotional expressions, including crying and covering her face.
Diary of Memories I do Not Have 31/36
A person holding a red apple close to the camera, with their arm and shoulder visible in the background.
A person sitting on the floor in a small, dimly lit bathroom or closet, hugging their knees.
A woman sitting nude on a vintage sofa with her hands covering her face, in a dimly lit room with sculptures in the background.
A nude woman with tattoos sitting on the ground in an abandoned, graffiti-covered building with large windows and overgrown greenery outside.
Close-up of a person sitting on a desk, with legs crossed, in a sewing or tailoring environment. The person is using a measuring tape around their knee, surrounded by sewing tools and fabric.
A collage of children's drawings, including a girl with a headband, a rainbow-colored trumpet, a blue bird, a queen with a crown, and a girl in a pink dress with a crown.
Diary of Memories I do Not Have 37/37
Diary With Memories I do Not Have

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